An online news source reported a meeting between President Barak Obama and British Prime Minister David Cameron with the headline, “New Frenemies: Is the U.S. – U.K. Special Relationship Doomed?”
Being a word-lover, the term “frenemies” immediately caught my attention. Have you heard it? The word “frenemy” first began popping up with regularity around 2007. It is, according to Wikipedia, “a portmanteau of “friend” and “enemy” which can refer to either an enemy disguised as a friend or to a partner who is simultaneously a competitor and rival.”
Its first recorded usage was in 1953 by columnist Walter Winchell, who used the term to suggest the status of the relationship between the U.S. and the Soviet Union.
According to a CNN news report on the subject of frenemies, experts explained that women sometimes idealize their friendships –believing they should only be loving and supportive – while men are culturally enabled to display the inevitable competitive feelings openly, without feeling ashamed or guilty.
While every friendship — no matter how solid or tentative — has mixed feelings of support and antagonism, women are more likely to put up with fair-weather friends because they perceive that they have invested a lot in the relationship and will work to salvage it, despite the rocky moments.
Jan Yager, author of “When Friendship Hurts: How to Deal with Friends Who Betray, Abandon, or Wound You” says, “Males, having a much lower threshold for complications in friendships, will disengage themselves from a negative friendship more easily, and faster, than the typical woman.
Do you need a quick litmus test to tell if someone is friend or frenemy?
To validate a healthy friendship, you should answer “yes” to the following questions:
Do you have a healthy, reciprocal friendship based on honest and trustworthiness?
Do you work out any differences or conflicts that arise?
Do you and your friend try to put the time and effort into your friendship that it requires?
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